To Hell With "Purity"


How many virgins does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody cares, as long as they’re still virgins.

Throughout the history of humankind, a virgin has always been hailed and praised for being “pure” and of high morals and everyone’s desire.

From Wikipedia: The word virgin is the root form of the Latin noun virgo, genitive virgin-is, meaning “young woman” or “girl”. The Latin word probably arose by analogy with a suit of lexemes based on vireo, meaning “to be green, fresh or flourishing”, mostly with botanic reference — in particular, virga meaning “strip of wood”.

Even though we like to think that we have somewhat evolved from the original belief rooted within numerous cultures that only virgins uphold morals, grace and modesty, plenty of people and religions are still pushing the idea of virginity to be the only way to be of decent character.

It’s actually not surprising that in the age of Britney Spears and the like, the moral apostles ring the bell of purity for young women. Calling abstinence a revolution and counterculture. We are surrounded by explicit images, rants about sexuality and the empowerment of women who dress sexily as well as pole dancing kits for little kids.

So is chastity chic?

Depends on who you agree with: Our modern society is clearly shaped by revealing clothing and having to look a certain sexy way to be noticed and desirable to men. While on the other hands, devoted and deep believers of chastity will tell you that your body is holy and private property, which also means, it belongs to father and husbands.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with abstinence, provided it’s a woman’s own choice and not some stupid belief that her moral compass resides between her legs or if she gives up on virginity, she’ll be damaged goods.

An army of virgins

An increasingly amount of women have decided that not only  is premarital and casual sex a bad idea, but covering up in modest clothing is the way to go. Many would disagree saying that by calling out for women to hold on to their virginity for dear life, is like a slap against feminism and freedom of choice alike.

Wendy Shalit, a writer and broadcaster, is arguably one of the best proponent with her book “A return to modesty”, in which she writes about the benefits of chastity. Her website, the Modesty Zone, is billed as “an informal community of young women who don’t have a voice in the mainstream media … Whether you’re a virgin waiting until marriage, or just against casual sex more generally, you can find a safe harbour here to share your ideals, interests and goals for the future.” And there is a crowd out there who’ll literally buy her rants and raves.

Purity balls for the whole family

A more radical and quite creepy thing are events like the “purity balls“.

They dined on roast beef and waltzed to classical music in a ballroom decorated with draped crosses and a mannequin in a white wedding gown. They listened as a guest speaker warned of the dangers of premarital sex. Then they stood at their tables, looked each other in the eye and vowed that they would remain pure.

“It’s like I’m devoting my virginity to my dad, saying that I will stay pure because it is the Christian thing to do,” said Lindsay Anne Schell, 18, a freshman at Bradley University in Peoria. “The rose shows the world that you are devoting your purity to God and to your father.”

Whether someone decides to stay a virgin or not should be entirely up to them. Not the fathers or future husbands, noone has the right to judge anyone by the virgin factor. You want to believe in chastity, do it for yourself, not cause they tell you do. There’s a middle ground between Britney and the purity balls.

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